I've heard "I'm sorry if . . ." one too many times.
The latest is out of the mouth of the 15-year-old child-star Miley Cyrus. (Actually, from the pen of her publicist whose job it is to keep her looking as pure as driven snow). In defending the bare-backed, sultry photo scheduled to appear in Vanity Fair, Cyrus said, "I'm sorry if I disappointed my fans . . . yada yada" (my paraphrase from hearing it several times on the news).
We hear this formula continually from celebrities: "I'm sorry if . . . ." The word "if" shifts the emphasis off the person's behavior or speech. It says, "I'm not saying I did anything wrong. But IF you think I did something wrong and were hurt/offended/upset by that, I'm sorry you drew that conclusion and had that reaction."
Just once I would like to hear a celebrity say, "I don't know whether anyone was hurt/offended/upset by my words/actions or not, but in retrospect I know I was. I have decided that what I did was wrong and I am not going to do it again. If you drew that same conclusion, then we're together. I was wrong and you are right. I'm sorry for what I did, but my being sorry has more to do with MY estimate of my behavior than it does YOURS. I am not sorry primarily because I hurt/offended/upset you, but because I disappointed myself. I violated my own/God's/the community's/my family's standards, and that's just flat wrong. And I am sorry, period."
Something tells me that people who say, "I'm sorry if . . ." really don't think they've done anything wrong at all and wouldn't know a true apology if it fell out of the sky in front of them. (After all, judging from what Miley Cyrus said about the photos when they were taken, she seemed to think they were just fine. It was only after they were published and the public outcry began that she suddenly decided she was sorry -- correction, her publicist decided she was sorry.)
P.S. I'm not sorry IF the above has hurt/offended/upset you. :-)
The latest is out of the mouth of the 15-year-old child-star Miley Cyrus. (Actually, from the pen of her publicist whose job it is to keep her looking as pure as driven snow). In defending the bare-backed, sultry photo scheduled to appear in Vanity Fair, Cyrus said, "I'm sorry if I disappointed my fans . . . yada yada" (my paraphrase from hearing it several times on the news).
We hear this formula continually from celebrities: "I'm sorry if . . . ." The word "if" shifts the emphasis off the person's behavior or speech. It says, "I'm not saying I did anything wrong. But IF you think I did something wrong and were hurt/offended/upset by that, I'm sorry you drew that conclusion and had that reaction."
Just once I would like to hear a celebrity say, "I don't know whether anyone was hurt/offended/upset by my words/actions or not, but in retrospect I know I was. I have decided that what I did was wrong and I am not going to do it again. If you drew that same conclusion, then we're together. I was wrong and you are right. I'm sorry for what I did, but my being sorry has more to do with MY estimate of my behavior than it does YOURS. I am not sorry primarily because I hurt/offended/upset you, but because I disappointed myself. I violated my own/God's/the community's/my family's standards, and that's just flat wrong. And I am sorry, period."
Something tells me that people who say, "I'm sorry if . . ." really don't think they've done anything wrong at all and wouldn't know a true apology if it fell out of the sky in front of them. (After all, judging from what Miley Cyrus said about the photos when they were taken, she seemed to think they were just fine. It was only after they were published and the public outcry began that she suddenly decided she was sorry -- correction, her publicist decided she was sorry.)
P.S. I'm not sorry IF the above has hurt/offended/upset you. :-)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment