The Restoration of Masculinity

I knew a guy years ago (yes, you, Jerry Leachman) who enjoyed telling young boys, "A man's not a man, son, without a hat!"

I'm proud to say that a weakness of several years in my own masculine force field was remedied today, not by the purchase of a hat, but a new wheelbarrow. I've been 'barrow-less for several years, my previous well-worn model having gone the way of a garage sale when I closed down my large backyard garden a few years ago in anticipation of a move that never happened. I didn't know the unsettledness in my soul since then was due to the 'barrow-shaped spot in my garage that was ultimately filled with other less masculine clutter. But no more! The 'barrow is back!

I can't wear my new wheelbarrow, but I'm hoping Leachman will allow the substitution. Besides, I'm thinking the wheelbarrow (which caused the invention of the wheel) predates the hat by a mastodon or two. How do you think our ancestors got the fur, which became hats and coats, home—except in a wheelbarrow?