Catching Up

Some recent pictures from here and there:

Avocado trees moved inside for the winter . . .

along with pineapple plants:

I run humidifiers in the house during the winter to keep the humidity levels up. This one has a thermostat so it cycles on and off creating a great environment for the plants. This mist is so fine that it doesn't get things damp unless it runs for a couple hours or more:

The largest aloe vera has sent up a single tall bloom stalk, something I've never seen before:

The winter broccoli is producing beautifully—the leaves take a hit when it gets down in the 20's at night, but the heads remain firm:

Tools of the earth: garden tools hanging on the outside of Daniel and Jennifer's garden shed.

Everybody got cashmere scarves for Christmas. (Daniel was especially excited.)

Ellen decided hers would make a good head-wrap for Granddaddy. (Shades of the 'Sixties.)

Ellen and Arianna did a couple duets on their recorders:

Caught the low winter light streaming through the living room windows. The secretary in the corner was the "control center" in my parents' home—where Daddy sat to pay bills; where Mama filed away her annual calendars filled in with scribbled notes of daily happenings; where I found my English maternal grandfather's leather-bound diary he kept as he walked and sang his way from Kentucky to New Orleans to win a bet that he could start with nothing in his pocket and arrive in New Orleans fed and clothed—which he apparently did. (The diary stopped somewhere near Marion, Alabama where he was distracted by a young school teacher named Fleming Cocke—whom he married in New Orleans. So I presume he made it, fed as well as wed.) The secretary shelves are filled with books not deserving of dust, the desk holds a growing collection of family pictures. The old family pictures at the lower right fill the wooden trunk that my paternal great-grandfather brought with him when he made the voyage from Holland to America to begin a new life in the land of opportunity, settling in Pella, Iowa. The picture on the wall above them—an aerial shot of the Old City of Jerusalem which I visited in 1982; found the photo rolled up in a dusty shop in the Old City; brought it home in-hand and it survived the next 20+ years until I could get it framed. Not all the corners in my world are worth contemplating, but this one is (for me).

Guess What's Missing From Your Food (and Thus from You)?

Ocean Grown is a Florida company that harvests ocean water far off the eastern coast of Florida and concentrates it for dilution (1:100) as a soil amendment and plant/grass/tree fertilizer. I visited their offices in Naples several years ago when they first began work and almost joined up I was so excited about what they were doing. I've been using Ocean Grown Solution to water my wheatgrass and garden ever since.

Why ocean water? Because it contains the perfect balance of the 90+ chemical elements found in nature, all of which should (in a perfect world) appear in the earth's crust (soil) and in the foods grown in that soil. (Different plants need and select different minerals from the soil.) Dr. Maynard Murray, the "father" of the ocean-water-as-nutrient idea, in his book Sea Energy Agriculture, described plants and their fruit as nothing more than conduits for getting minerals out of the soil into the human body (which gives new insight to Genesis 1:19: "for dust you are and to dust you will return").

The demineralization of the earth's soil, through wind and water erosion, poor agriculture practices, and failure to replenish, has led to nutrient-poor foods which has contributed to the lack of vitality and health in those who feed upon them. This is one of the main reasons to eat organically-grown foods as opposed to conventionally-grown—organic farmers (generally) make an effort to add back to the soil more than they take from it through composting, deep-root cover cropping (some grasses and legumes can send roots as deep as 20 feet below the surface, bringing fresh supplies of minerals to a plant's foliage which is then plowed back into the top few inches of the soil ready to be taken up new crops), remineralization, and proper tillage.

In one of their recent magazine ads, Ocean Grown produced the following color-coded periodic table of the elements, the headline stating that earth's soil used to contain every chemical element in this chart (except the two yellow ones). They then ask, "See the BLACK ones? Those are the ones listed on your fertilizer bag."

Everyone who has fertilized their yard or garden is familiar with the three numbers on the bag of fertilizer, e.g., 10-10-10. Those are the three chemicals represent by the black boxes on the chart: nitrogen (N), phosphorous (P), and potassium (K). A nineteenth-century German scientist, Justus von Liebig, the "father of modern fertilizer," set in motion the discoveries that led to the realization that plants could grow with adequate N, P, and K alone—especially N. But what about the other 87 elements? Plants will grow without all the elements they ideally need, but not robustly. And neither will humans and other animals who feed on mineral-deficient plants. (Obviously, all soil contains some minerals. The point is that most/all soils today are unbalanced and deficient in mineral content.)

This post isn't an advertisement for Ocean Grown. But the three black boxes in the periodic table from their ad point out the deficiency of most modern fertilizers that are lacking the majority of chemical elements that are needed for healthy soil, healthy plants, and health beings. Fortunately, companies like Ocean Grown (and now others) are providing remineralizing products via ocean water, and other companies have been providing remineralizing amendments (trace minerals harvested from dried sea beds) for gardeners and farmers to add back to their soil (products like Azomite, Planters II trace minerals, and others). The more complete the mineral balance in our soil the more resources our bodies have to work with in maintaining health via the foods grown in those soils.

What Makes a Good Song?

Old Crow Medicine Show's signature song, Wagon Wheel, is a GREAT song. Okay, give 'em a pass on a few of the lyrics and then watch the audience tell you whether they think this is a great song or not—singable, memorable, unique, with a high harmony line to die for, and just plain FUN. This is from their live concert DVD filmed in Asheville and Knoxville where they are revered by a loyal fan base. Not hard to see why:

Parenting Today for Tomorrow

I'd like to commend two blog posts written by a friend of my daughter-in-law on the topic of parenting young children -- developing biblical convictions and practices today that will guide and protect children in the future.

Kelly and her husband, Jason, are the parents of twin girls and a boy, all very young. Kelly is a gifted writer (as is Jason on his blog), but these two posts of hers deserve a wide reading. If you go to Kelly's blog today you'll find they are the two most recent posts at the top of the blog. If you come across this reference in the future (when the two posts have been shuffled into the archives), here are the individual links to the two posts: Part One ("My Two-Year-Olds Are Dating") and Part Two ("Part 2: Our Two-Year-Olds Are Dating").

There are many young parents investing significantly in their children's future who may not have time or inclination to write about their priorities and practices. But when good parenting and good writing surface in the same place, it's worth taking note.

Kennedy Center Honors

The current class of five Kennedy Center honorees were celebrated earlier this fall and the ceremony will be broadcast tonight on CBS at 9:00 p.m. If you are not familiar with the Kennedy Center awards, they are a genuine education in the history of the arts in America. Every class of five represents a cross-section as exemplified by the current honorees: Bruce Springsteen, Mel Brooks, Robert de Niro, Dave Brubeck, and Grace Bumbry.

There is a wonderful retrospective with clips from previous awards ceremonies here -- it is terrific (it's a bit slow to load, but worth the wait). I got tears in my eyes just watching some of these clips. I especially loved seeing again the clip from the night Brian Wilson, leader of the Beach Boys, was honored -- seeing Washington's, Broadway's, and Hollywood's elite in their tuxes and gowns on their feet dancing to "California Girls," honoring this musical genius who fought his way back from the darkness of depression and breakdowns to write music once again. Unfortunately, they didn't show the finale when scores of beach balls were dropped into the audience from the ceiling. It was amazing. The older one is, the more cherished these memories become.

If you've never seen the Kennedy Center Awards shows, tonight's promises to be a good one.

Dave Barry's 2009 "Year in Review"

Read Dave Barry's summary of 2009, in typically hilarious fashion, here.

Gloucester Cathedral Choir

Time

I read two things about time this morning:

Scott and Helen Nearing needed a 420-foot wall built around the garden at their Maine homestead. So they built it themselves—one stone at a time—over a period of 14 years. It cost $450 in materials and 14 years in time to build what they needed. When they finished, Helen was 67 and Scott was 87, meaning they began their task at ages 53 and 73 respectively. Scott died at age 100 and Helen at age 91, so they enjoyed the fruit of their labor for many years. (Helen and Scott Nearing, Continuing the Good Life, p. 116).

Award-winning historical novelist Jack Cavanaugh (see "The Life of a Novelist: A True Story") wrote and queried for 13 years before a publisher gave him his first contract. Hundreds of thousands of words and 13 years of time to achieve his goal.

Why Americans Are Exhausted

Peggy Noonan, in her current WSJ column, explains why Americans are exhausted and think the country is on the wrong track—and it's not just about war and healthcare debates. It's about who we're becoming as a nation as exemplified by Adam Lambert's perverted performance recently on the ABC broadcast of the American Music Awards.

Mr. Lambert is free to do as he pleases in his personal life, of course. But I wonder why he didn't display who he truly is when he competed on American Idol. I'm sure it's because he knows that most Americans don't favor his lifestyle and would have voted him off the show. So his deceit gained him a victory and a free pass into America's living rooms during prime time. No wonder Americans are tired of what they like and believe in being taken from them by some who claim to be shocked when we protest.

Meet Lt. Col. Allen West

I was not familiar with retired Army Lt. Col. Allen West until today -- he is running for a Republican congressional seat in Florida in the upcoming 2010 election. He is a fiery and articulate speaker and a staunch conservative opposed to the current administration's policies and the direction of the country. I'm posting the following two videos simply as information since we'll likely hear his name in the coming months.

You can read the Wikipedia article about him which provides some detail about alleged aggressive interrogation tactics in Iraq which resulted in charges and his ultimate retirement from the military. Ninety-five members of Congress signed a letter to the Secretary of the Army in support of Col. West after his "forced" retirement. But he nonetheless has this affair on his record. My fear is that he might ultimately go the way of Allen Keyes -- a fiery African-American whose message was too strong for the public to swallow. He seems genuine, but unfortunately too naive and unsophisticated in the ways of Washington-world. He makes some good points but his hard-core military style won't resonate with a lot of folks -- just a first impression. But we'll see what happens.

Here is the six-minute video of a speech he gave recently that went viral on the Internet and raised his public profile: (In case you're not sure what his reference to "the President at Home Depot" refers to -- a few days ago President Obama's entourage went to a Home Depot to talk about people insulating their homes better; how "insulation is sexy." I was embarrassed for Obama when I read about the trip and his remarks.)

(Addendum: For those who don't know me well, I need to clarify that my hopes for the future are built on "nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness." I put no trust at all in human governors to do either the right or righteous thing, try as they might. Indeed, I fear all political efforts are akin to straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic. That said, I am more than willing to thank them for their efforts when their acts and intents overlap those of God (as Samuel Rutherford outlined in Lex Rex in 1644). Also, I feel the responsibility to participate in the political process as intelligently as I can and so like to be aware of those on the playing field. I post videos like these purely for informational purposes -- not as an endorsement. If you know anything more about this particular candidate I'd be happy to hear from you.)

Here is a video of an interview with Col. West by Sean Hannity (of whom I am not a big fan for various reasons) after West's speech went viral:

Looking Better All the Time

This is a Flash-based interactive summary of a number of different polls (red dots = the "Oppose" numbers from a particular poll, the blue dots the "Favor" numbers). Hold your cursor over any dot to see which poll it represents. The solid lines represent a summary of all the polls. Roll your cursor over the opposite extremes of the x-axis (the dates line) to adjust the dates. Because this is Flash-based, the numbers will change as new poll results are added to the graph at pollster.com.

12-15-09 addendum: With only 38.5% of the nation currently favoring the Obama healthcare proposals, why are 60+% of senators apparently prepared to vote for the Senate version of the bill (with Joe Lieberman's capitulation this morning)? I realize the purpose of a republic is to put elected representatives in place as a buffer between true democracy (mob rule) and ultimate legislation. But shouldn't the percentage of the public's opinion and the percentage of senators voting a certain way be closer than 38.5% vs. 60+%? It would appear that not many senators are listening to their constituents.

Why You Will Lose Your Private Health Insurance

This is a great piece on the disaster that is looming in the halls of Congress if any version of the health bill now under consideration is passed. Written by Robert Tracinsnki of The Intellectual Activist. You can read the piece here at RealClearPolitics.com.

The Funeral of One's Independence

From the pen of the never-easy Oswald Chambers:

The cost to your natural life is not just one or two things, but everything. Jesus said, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself . . . " (Matthew 16:24). That is, he must deny his right to himself, and he must realize who Jesus Christ is before he will bring himself to do it. Beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own independence.

My Granddaughters Could Have Been in This Commercial!

The best part is at the very end when they do a "rowing" motion—hilarious!

Jeffrey Masson

Jeffrey Masson was a Sanskrit scholar who became a Freudian analyst and now devotes his time to vegan and animal welfare issues. He is a prolific author (see his titles that deal with animals and veganism in my list of "Books Read" in the left margin), his latest book (2009) being The Face on Your Plate. On March 30 of this year he did a book signing and hour-long discussion of the book and related issues at a bookstore. The hour-long presentation and discussion was recorded and made available to the public. You can watch it online here or below. (Happily, the embedded video below plays perfectly. Why can't all online videos be as large-formatted and stream as well as this one?)

I like these off-the-cuff presentations as much as authors' books. The live discussions reveal "who" the author is (personality, mannerisms, tone, etc.) which is often not revealed (as clearly) via the printed page. "Meeting" the author adds an extra dimension to reading his or her books. Plus, wittingly or unwittingly, these interviews always reveal insights about other "major players" with whom the author has interacted, conversations that rarely make it into a book. For example, I was intrigued by his remembrance of an interview with Alice Waters, the iconic doyen of whole/slow/organic food—the owner of the famous Chez Panisse restaurant in Berkeley, California. It revealed (at least from his perspective) that even the most esteemed leaders in a given field have not always thought about everything. His comments about, and stories of his conversation with, Michael Pollan, an even larger icon than Alice Waters, and Wendell Berry, were also illuminating. Masson, as an author and researcher, does prodigious research, interacting with the leading lights in the field.

I keep coming back and adding tidbits from this talk. He talks about how trends are changing in our culture by noting that when he was an undergrad at Harvard there were only two vegetarians (he and another), whereas the student body of Stanford University today is 25% vegetarian.

Palin, Pleasure, and Principle

(AP picture borrowed from the Los Angeles Times blog.)

I don't plan to read Sarah Palin's new book (Going Rogue), but am intrigued by what she has to say about vegetarians and her own meat-eating habits as reported in an article by Johanna Neuman on the LATimes blog (Nov 17, 2009). "Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has never made any bones, if you will, about her culinary preferences. She's a carnivore, a hunter and proud of both," Neuman wrote. Technically, Palin isn't a carnivore—she's an omnivore. Lions and tigers are carnivores—beings that eat meat exclusively. Omnivores eat a broad spectrum of foods including meat—possibly even mostly meat—but not exclusively meat.

That said, it's Palin's comments in her book that beg analysis. The former governor writes,

If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?"

I love meat. I eat pork chops, thick bacon burgers, and the seared fatty edges of a medium-well-done-steak. But I especially love moose and caribou. I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals—right next to the mashed potatoes.

The Washington Post also notes the book contains photos of her history as a hunter dating back to her childhood under her father's tutelage, one showing her father demonstrating to Sarah and her friends how to skin a harbor seal (before the practice was banned) resulting in new seal-skin coats and mittens from the hides, made by her grandmother. On another occasion her father taught her (still as a child) how to field-dress a moose. He asked her to hold the moose's still-warm eyeballs which he planned to show his science-class students later that day.

We can forgive Palin's mis-use of the carnivore term—lots of people get that wrong. What is more worthy of attention are the two foundations for her attitudes and practices about animals: her environment and her assumed right to personal pleasure.

Environmentally, she is her father's daughter and a true daughter of the "Alaska" frontier mentality where foraging off the land was first a survival skill and then a badge of machismo, one Palin appears to wear proudly. She is not singularly guilty of wearing the mantle of her upbringing—who doesn't? Southerners who still salivate at the strains of "Dixie" are guilty of the same unwillingness to break out of the molds in which they were cast. Not all molds deserve breaking, of course. But if they do—and Palin's do—they need to be broken. Palin is openly verbal about her Christian commitments, but appears never to have allowed Scripture to challenge the assumptions about animals with which she was raised. In that regard, she is like most Christians who unwittingly do the same—they've never stopped to think that life in the kingdom of God might be different from life in "Alaska;" that the Bible speaks to more than issues of personal morality (don't lie, don't chew, don't hang with people who do, etc.). I would encourage the former governor to ask God (as every Christian should), "What is there in my personal kingdom that is inconsistent with Your kingdom—including my perspectives and practices regarding animals?"

Second—her priority on pleasure when it comes to eating meat. Anyone who uses this kind of detail in describing the meat they eat—"I love meat . . . and the seared fatty edges of a medium-well-done steak"—is a person who has a serious stake in steak-eating. And who can blame her? It is the fatty portions of meat that give it the flavor humans crave (along with the cholesterol that eventually clogs their arteries and causes them to assume room temperature). Think of the envy that rises in most people when, on a balmy summer afternoon, they catch a whiff of the savory aroma of seared fat and flesh emanating from a neighbor's grill—and how they wished it was their meat on their grill that was making their mouth water. We are like Pavlov's dogs when it comes to the aroma of burning fat. Our salivary glands start pumping overtime when we detect the near-presence of "the seared fatty edges of a medium-well-done steak." Nobody could fault Palin for her honest expression of what promotes her personal culinary pleasures. But being honest about the wrong thing doesn't make it right.

In the prescriptions for sacrificial offerings in the Old Testament, the fatty portions of animals were reserved for God:

The priest must present part of this offering as a special gift to the Lord. This includes all the fat around the internal organs, the two kidneys and the fat around them near the loins, and the long lobe of the liver. These must be removed with the kidneys, and the priest will burn them on the altar. It is a special gift of food, a pleasing aroma to the Lord. All the fat belongs to the Lord. You must never eat any fat or blood. This is a permanent law for you, and it must be observed from generation to generation, wherever you live." (Leviticus 3:14-16, NLT, bold added)

Don't misunderstand my use of this scripture—I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't eat fat because it violates Old Testament dietary or sacrificial precepts. (Why God instructed animals to be killed as sacrifices is a whole different discussion.) I'm not using it to say what the pleasure of fatty meats was not (not for man), but what it was—it was for God. Why? Because the burning of fat on a fiery altar produced the same pleasure in the nostrils of God (figuratively speaking) as it produces in you when you smell it in your neighborhood or on your own patio:

You shall sprinkle their blood on the altar, and burn their fat as an offering made by fire for a sweet aroma to the Lord. (Numbers 18:17b, NLT, bold added)

The Israelites reserved the most savory portions of animal sacrifices to burn so that the powerful flavor would ascend to heaven and bring pleasure to God as a "sweet aroma." If you think an 18"-wide Weber grill gives off a sweet aroma, think how the wilderness smelled when the Israelites fired up the 56-square-foot altar (five meters square; Exodus 27:1) within the Tabernacle (later in Jerusalem) and started lobbing baskets of fat-meat into its roaring, perpetually-burning flames. Sarah Palin would have gone nuts from the smell alone.

There is fat in all meat, of course, so burning the non-fat portions sets off the conditioned pleasure response as well. But the most pleasurable, the most savory, was reserved for God. We err when we think that "if it feels (or tastes) good, do it!" Pleasure is not permission. Liberty is not license.

The point is this: Just because something produces pleasure in this life doesn't make it right. Sex always brings pleasure, but that doesn't make non-proscribed sex right. Eating sugary foods is a conditioned pleasure, but that doesn't make their unlimited consumption right. Indulging oneself at the expense of others may result in pleasures of various sorts, but that doesn't make narcissism or hedonism right.

No amount of frat-boy humor ("if God didn't want us to eat animals, why'd He make them out of meat") can cover Palin's (or anyone's) willingness to extinguish the life of a sentient being (beings that were created for Jesus Christ, Colossians 1:16. I wonder if Palin asked Christ if it was okay to kill the reindeer—Christ's reindeer—shown in the picture above?) for her own personal pleasure. Does the seared, fatty portion of a steak taste good? Absolutely. I remember my own trips, along with fraternity brothers, to a local discount grocery store in college to purchase huge slabs of some kind of beef which we would throw on the fraternity house grill, and then consume with Palin-like gusto along with copious quantities of beer and frat-boor humor, followed by a couple of days trying to expel the remains. If I hadn't engaged in so much colon-cleansing in recent years I would assume there would yet be remnants of those pleasures remaining in me to this day.

Having been as uninformed and pleasure-based then as Sarah Palin is now, I can't be holier-than-her with these comments. But I can remind her, myself, and all that pleasure in life—especially unnecessary pleasures that come at the expense of other beings—is not life's highest goal. Our highest goal is to have our thinking transformed (Romans 12:2) so we continually submit our environmental conditioning and our at-any-cost pleasure-seeking to the principles and values of the kingdom of God.

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. (Psalm 16:11, NLT)

My Two Favorite Facebook Posts

A few months ago when I was active on Facebook, I began a "Kruidenier Family" Group (and posted a picture of the Kruidenier crest/coat-of-arms) that now has a rousing 28 members from around the world. (Hey -- it's not a common name.) Here are my two favorite posts so far:

Runner-up: My daughter Liz joined the group and posted this: "Okay . . . so now what do we do?" (Great commentary on the whole social media thing.)

Best quote: a Kruidenier named "Simon" joined the group and wrote, "Holy crap! We have a family crest???" (I'm taking bets on my "cousin" Simon's approximate age.)

It Just Needs to Be Said

While none of us is qualified to cast the first stone, there are times when it's necessary to speak the truth. And this USAToday.com sportswriter does just that about Tiger Woods.

The Car Your (Grand-) Children May Drive

Notwithstanding the fact that GM is bankrupt and should be out of business, this prototype they've developed (or something like it) may be the future. (Given the complexity of the power plant, it certainly bodes well for GM's service departments. No more Saturday morning driveway repairs.)

Food that Tastes Good

Here's a short clip that features farmer Rick Bishop whose 30-acre farm in Roscoe, New York, is dedicated to growing food that tastes good (i.e., is grown for nutrition rather than appearance, shelf life, etc.) He's one of the few natural/organic farmers I've ever heard mention using a refractometer to measure the Brix (sugar/solids) scale of his vegetables as they are growing—something (imho) all farmers should do. You can read a short interview with him here where he mentions being a student of the soil mineralization theories of the late Dr. Carey Reams.

The market featured in the above video is the famed Union Square Greenmarket in New York City. Here's another video featuring the same farmer, Rick Bishop, and his interaction with people at the Union Square Greenmarket. This is the stuff of life . . .

(Thanks to the Brixman, Rex Harrill, for the lead on this post.)

The Age of the Onion

No one with a heart would wish on any president the misfortune of holding office in the era of The Onion: "Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner."

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

(Thanks to Paul Stack for the link.)

The Art and Craft of Fine Book Binding

The Folio Society, an English publisher and reprinter of classic works of literature, old and modern, uses The Fine Book Bindery in Wellingborough, England, for some (all?) of their fine binding projects. For instance, this Folio Society centenary edition of Kenneth Grahame's classic, The Wind in the Willows, was recently published in a limited run of 1,000 copies at $1,195.00 each. And there are none remaining.

Bookbinding and illustration is hopefully not a dying craft. Paying for such works of art begs the same question of priorities as does any non-necessary expenditure. But perhaps fine art and craft are necessary for the soul to flourish. At any rate, though I can't afford to participate in such luxuries, I enjoy knowing that the fine art of bookbinding is still being pursued—not surprisingly, in England.

For those interested, there is a series of brief slide shows on The Fine Book Bindery web site showing the steps that go into the production of a volume such as the above—the volume illustrated in the slide shows is The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám.

Animals—Smarter than We Think

This is an amazing sequence of photos by a National Geographic photographer—his encounter with a leopard seal in Antarctica. (Thanks to my friend, Robert Orr, for the link.)

I Cried Laughing

I was unaware of this: When Amazon.com lists a product for sale that is REALLY a dumb product—dangerous, in fact—the Internet comedians (and there are some great ones out there) rally to the cause. They give the product five stars, then write reviews that are hilarious and post even funnier pictures.

Case in point: the Laptop Steering Wheel Desk. (Does that sound like a bad idea, or what?) I laughed at the reviews and then cried laughing at some of the product pictures that people have submitted. (Hurry—I understand Amazon takes these down pretty quickly.)

(Credit to David Pogue, tech editor at The New York Times.)

Who Would You Sleep With?

A rabbi, a Hindu priest, and a hedge-fund manager were lost one night in Kansas. In the distance, they saw a light on in a farmhouse, drove up, and knocked on the door.

"Excuse us," the priest said when the farmer came to the door. "We know it's late. But we are lost and we're too tired to continue on. By any chance could we stay here for the night? We won't be any trouble, and we'll leave first thing in the morning."

"Happy to help," the farmer said. "But there's only one problem. I only have two spare bedrooms. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."

"Oh, I'm happy to stay in the barn," the priest replied immediately. "No bother at all."

They all bed down for the night, but after a few minutes there was a knock at the door. It was the priest.

"You didn't tell me you had a cow in the barn," he said. "It's not exactly against my religion to sleep near a cow, but I don't quite feel comfortable."

"No problem," the rabbi jumped in. "Don't worry. I've got no problem with the cow. You take my room and I'll sleep in the barn."

And so they went to bed again, but, lo and behold, in a few minutes there was a knock at the door. It was the rabbi.

"You didn't tell me you had a pig in the barn," the rabbi explained. "I'm awfully sorry, but it's like with the priest. There's no real religious issue with my sleeping with pigs, but it still makes me uncomfortable."

"Geez, Louise," the hedge-fund manager said, losing all patience. "I don't have any religious issues with the animals! I'll sleep in the barn. Come on, let's all get some sleep!"

So the priest and the rabbi went upstairs with the farmer, and everyone went to bed, confident that things had been taken care of once and for all.

But in a few minutes, there was a knock at the door. Opening it, the farmer found the cow and the pig.

(Adapted from Woody Tasch's Slow Money—Investing As If Food, Farms, and Fertility Mattered, pp. 91-92)

It's a joke . . . just a joke. And a darn good one, I thought. Hedge-fund managers are definitely the target du jour.

What's a Dollar Worth?

In August, 1971, President Richard Nixon severed the connection between gold and the U.S. dollar, taking America off the gold standard. In a television broadcast to the nation he said, "Your dollar will be worth just as much tomorrow as today."

How'd that work out?

At the time of Nixon's action, it took 35 dollars to buy one ounce of gold. Today, 38 years later, at the market close, it took about 1,140 dollars to buy an ounce of gold. That represent a 97 percent loss in the value of the dollar.

Looks like that plan didn't work out so well after all.

How Verizon Sticks It to Their Cell Customers

If you are a Verizon cell phone customer, you need to read this article by The New York Times tech editor, David Pogue. Verizon has doubled its early contract termination fee to $350, charges $1.99 data download charge every time you accidentally hit the button on your phone that connects you to the Internet (even if you hit "End" within a couple seconds after hitting the connect key), and refuses to shorten its 15-seconds of instructions on how to leave a voice-mail message—time that accumulates against your minutes allocation.

As Pogue concludes, "Why wouldn't it be a hugely profitable move to start pitching yourself as the GOOD cell company, the one that actually LIKES its customers?"

Make Your Own Flu Vaccine

Is Jail in My Future?

I wonder how many Americans realize that the House version of the health care bill (passed by the House on Saturday) criminalizes non-compliance. That is, the penalty for not participating in the government-run health care program, or not paying the penalty for non-participation on your income taxes (2.5 percent of your gross income) is a fine up to $250,000 and/or up to five years in jail.

By choice I don't have health insurance, but I'm about to be forced to or pay a huge penalty on my taxes. If I refuse to pay the penalty I could be fined or go to jail. Time will tell if this provision remains in whatever version of a health care bill is passed. (The Senate took the criminalization clause out of their earlier versions, but the House left it in their bill passed last Saturday.)

Rep. Jeff Sessions (R, Texas) reads the criminalization clause in the House bill in recent debate:

Weekend Pics

No time for commentary—just a few pics from a weekend gathering: